3 Cures for Back-to-School Blues

As I'm sitting in Starbucks, I just realized I have one week left of Summer break.  One freaking week.  I'm kind of at a bittersweet moment right now simply because I'm realizing my crazy last minute flights will be virtually nonexistent, but the great news is actually having a real schedule.  As most of you know, my year has been crazy.  It feels like I'm in this country one day, then this state the other.  Truth is, traveling is exhausting.  I love it, but I'm so happy to chill out for awhile.

Next week I move back on Carroll's campus, and let me just say I am freaked out.  It's almost been a year since I've lived in Waukesha, only worried about school, studied all day, and seen a lot of my friends on campus.  With that being said, I've been trying to think of things that will make this transition back a little easier!  This year I have my own room (and bathroom) so that in itself makes me ecstatic!  I've created a compilation of random things that may make going back to school a little easier and brighter.

1. My Agenda
Every year I get a new agenda, and I think this is actually my favorite.  I just have a thing for Kate Spade, and I couldn't help but get their new agenda!  I mean how cute are the gold polka dots?  I was sold immediately.  Last year my agenda was really fun and kept me organized, but this year I wanted something a little more classic.  I also found a couple other agendas here, here, and here.  I wish I could just use all of them, but there's always next year!

2.  My Bathroom
Since I get a bathroom all for myself, I may have gotten a little too excited.  I found this super cute shower curtain from JCPenney.  I was actually really surprised when I found it there, but I just love the ruffles.  I decided to role with the colors so I'm going to do white, coral, pink, and pops of yellow. Not girly at all right?  I just figured when's the next time I'll be able to have such a cute bathroom so I'm going all out.  I also got this card and this card from Rifle Paper Co. to frame and hang up.  I am so excited it's not even funny, and it's literally a bathroom.

3.  Back to School Fashion
This year feels just so different going back to school then any other year.  Instead of hiding behind my boxes, I'm getting so excited to make the switch from Summer clothes to Fall clothes.  It must be the idea of snuggling under my new Irish wool blanket, drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte, and watching a movie that makes me want to bring out my sweaters right now.

Each Fall I try to get a few key pieces that will add to my closet, but will mix and match easily.  I found this super cute blazer at J.Crew that I'm so tempted to buy, but we will see.  I wear my navy schoolboy blazer all of the time in the winter, so this may be my next one.  I also love this sweater that comes in five colors!  I absolutely love all of my sweaters from J.Crew because they are so easy to layer with, they are comfortable, and are high quality.  I am pretty I'll have the light blue one in my closet by the weekend to be honest.  Oops.  One last thing that I've been dying to get is a new pair of ankle boots.  I absolutely adore these from Aldo.  Gosh, can Fall just come already?!

Have any good back to school advice?  I'd love to hear about it!

  

Mistakes.

To be honest, I've struggled a lot these past few weeks.  Between death of a close family friend, my dog's death, and just feeling sort of inadequate, these weeks brought on more than I thought I could handle.  Usually, I like to blog about cool new things that are occurring in my life or what I enjoy, but I just feel compelled to be 100% real.  Too many times I catch myself getting bitter after reading some of my favorite bloggers' posts.  I just don't understand how someone can be so perfect.  How can her hair look that good?  How can she pull off that outfit? Why can't I be her?  These thoughts ultimately bring me down, even though they aren't meant to.

After feeling this way though, I guess I've just thought about me.  Do I come off as perfect?  Do I seem like I have it together all of the time?  I'd be lying if I said I have it all together because the truth is I'm flawed.  I make mistakes, I have awful hair days, I like wearing oversized tees at home, and my room is still a mess from being in London.  So many times I hide my insecurities though because I like to be put together.  I love that clean and crisp look that you see on blogs, magazines, and billboards.  What I forget is that everyone has flaws, and it's okay to let your walls down.  As for standing up tall and folding my hands a certain way, that is just me and I'm actually not trying.

For fun, before I left London I decided to come up with a list of some pretty idiotic things I may have done.  Some of them may not have been my fault, but nevertheless have occurred.  I feel like within the past few weeks I did some pretty dumb things too, so I added one of those on the list as well.

Top 5 Worst Decisions:
1. Visiting Milan without having done any prior research.  That 8 hour supposed to be fun stop in Milan ended up being spent in the train station.  FOR EIGHT HOURS with no wifi.

2.  Did I mention I only packed three pairs of socks for a two week Spring break trip?  Ya, that's pretty self explanatory.

3.  Hopping onto the subway in Munich without actually paying for a two euro ticket.  After being caught by the German transportation police and forty euros later, I finally got to walk away.  I literally thought I was going to a German prison.

4.  Showing up to the Oklahoma City airport twelve hours after my flight left.  That's right.  I bought and misread my ticket about a thousand times seeing that my 5pm ticket was actually at 5am.

5.  Not bringing a suitable pair of tennis shoes for a two week trip.  Who doesn't bring good shoes for a European trip where you're literally walking everywhere? Janae.

It was actually kind of fun remembering some pretty dumb things that I've done.  During those times it wasn't exactly fun, but it's fun to laugh at yourself.  So for anyone who thinks that they are the only ones who make mistakes, this is for you.  You are not alone.  We all don't have it all together, we may cry in airports, we may sing out loud in cafes when you forget you're wearing headphones (okay, maybe that's just me), but we are all human.  Maybe this is just a reminder for myself, but I hope you don't feel like you just wasted the last ten or so minutes of your life.    

Finally Out of the Woods.

Call me Taylor Swift obsessed, but I've actually learned quite a bit from her lyrics.  Whether I was just a fifteen year old singing "Fifteen" or I was singing "Teardrops on My Guitar," Taylor always got me.  After a sudden change to pop, I was mainly worried that the lyrics I once loved, would turn into a mess of meaningless words that didn't relate to me at all.  Thankfully, I was wrong.  Something that just kind of hit me while I was in Washington was the song "Out of the Woods."  Ever since it came out, I struggled to figure out what it was talking about.  Maybe I'm just dumb, but I just now figured it out.

The last day I was in Washington, my friends and I decided to go on a 3am sunrise hike to Rattlesnake Ridge.  I hate mornings.  I've always hated mornings, but I knew the view would be worth it.  This hike was steep, long, and never ending.  The woods were dark, and I felt like I would never make it out of there no matter how long I walked.  But then, something happened.  I finally saw some light peaking through the trees.  Even though I was exhausted, I literally ran to the ridge and almost cried because of how happy I was.  No longer was I in the dark woods, but instead, I was surrounded by the clean air and the sunlight.  I was in the clear.

I'm pretty sure TSwift was talking about a relationship she had gone through, but I connected it to my relationship with God over the past few years.  Sometimes I've felt in the dark.  You know when you are so tired spiritually, and you feel like you'll never get out of that dark place?  Sometimes I felt I was in the woods for too long and there was no possible way I'd make it out alive.  The path ahead of you was just too long and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get out.  Maybe it's just me, but I've been there.  I've been hurt, I've felt betrayed, and I've thought I'd never make it out.  But then, there is that glimmer of light.

For me, God has always been there.  Even when I was in the dark, I could always see where I was going.  The light may not have always been clear, but it was always there.  Now, maybe I'm crazy for comparing a song to my relationship with God, but I'd thought I share some of my thoughts.  One important lesson I've learned in life is to keep moving forward.  I've struggled with things I've never told anyone, I've felt alone, and I've made it out.  A verse that comes to mind is Psalms 23:4.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; they rod and thy staff they comfort me."

I know this isn't a typical post of mine, but I just wanted to share some thoughts of mine (no matter how weird they might be.)  So for anyone feeling alone, just know that God always proves himself.  God is always there, and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, here are some pictures of that glorious hike I took on Tuesday morning!  I took some pretty awesome photos of my friend Natalie, and I'm pretty sure she is a model at heart.  I'm so thankful for sunrises that make living so beautiful.

Change.

Change:  something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.  It could simply mean to become different.  What I've learned over the past few years of my life is that change is inevitable.  As a young adult I've learned to embrace change, as painful as it might be, and continue to live no matter the circumstance.  Upon returning home from London, I was surprised.  The lack of change in my own city combined with the change I encountered within myself left me with what is called culture shock.  Was it possible that I got culture shock from just sleeping in my old room and being only a few doors down from my parents?  Yes, it's possible because it happened to me.

Seeing as it's already been a month since I stepped off the plane in O'hare, I can't help but think about the great times I had traveling, my favorite cafes, and just London.  I've ran into a problem these past few weeks though, and I can't seem to shake the lack of inspiration.  Thoughts keep running around my head about that one time there or that time I travelled to who knows where, but I've lost the point of all of it.  To live.  It seems as though I'm not as great at adapting to change as I thought I was.

After realizing my predicament, this is the part where you come into play.  Something that gives me joy and that excites me is my own blog.  I've decided to expand my blog beyond my study abroad adventures.  I want to talk about my new finds, whether it be a new book, recipe, or cool blogger I happen to stumble upon.  I want to write about my style.  How I keep modesty fresh, cool, and fun.  And I want to talk about what you're interested in!  If anyone has any suggestions or comments, I would LOVE to hear them and incorporate them into this fun venture of mine.

My new current trend is a matching set.  I've seen them all over the place (mostly crop tops paired with skirts), but I happened to find an adorable black and white top and skirt at the Loft.  What I love the most about these sets is that they can be paired together or can be combined with other tops or skirts.  I styled my new set three different ways to create three totally different looks both casual and dressy.

The Love Triangles tee I bought at the Loft is 60% off right now and can be found here!

Unfortunately the skirt is sold out, but there are a ton of other options to go with this top.  When I got the skirt, I was actually really surprised with how long it was.  Since I'm short, it hit me mid calf, which isn't the best look.  Thankfully, my grandma was coming into town, so she hemmed it just a few inches for me!  All of the Fourth of July sales are making me go crazy, with most of my favorite stores having 30-40% extra off of clearance.  So happy shopping!

One more thought to throw out there for you!  I would love some travel suggestions for Seattle and Vancouver.  Next week I'm headed out there to spend some time with my friends, and I would love some tips!  If you've been there before, I would love to hear about what you did!

   

Top Ten Takeaways.

London.  A city of diversity.  An inspiration to people around the world.  A hub for street markets, fashion bloggers, and eager young adults wanting to experience life.  A place that not only fulfills dreams, but creates them.  A city that challenges the way you view life and strengthens your values.  London, most importantly, has become my home.

To be honest, I'm different.  I feel like at this stage in anyone's life there are constant changes that make the mold for the rest of their lives.  Fortunately, I'm happy with my choices.  I remember telling my mom before I left that I knew I wouldn't be the same person coming back who left.  That scared me.  I knew that living by myself in a huge city that I had never visited would present itself with challenges, but I just needed to do it.  Month by month, I've learned some things along the way.  I've learned not to stop walking in the middle of the street because you saw something that you loved, and I've learned what it takes to be a friend when it's convenient and when it's not.

After a lot of thought, I have decided to share my top ten takeaways from studying abroad.  Enjoy!

Top 10 Takeaways:

1.  Be 100% yourself.
     For quite some time I've felt the need to fit in.  Whether it's being a part of the right crowd or dressing like all of my friends, I've felt the pressure to change myself.  To be honest, I feel like I haven't been myself in quite some time.  I changed my mind on what was important to me and even who I felt I needed to impress.
     Being in London gave me a new outlook on my own life.  After seeing diversity in the strongest form, I quickly realized how it was okay to be different.  It was okay to have different views, dress differently, and speak differently.  And suddenly, I felt like me.  Owning who I was led me to make friends with people who were incredibly different than me.  It led me to three of my very close friends (this is for you guys Kaitlyn, Leah, and Jodie) who not only challenged my values, but respected them.  Studying abroad helped me "find myself" and ultimately helped me see that being me is the only way to be 100% happy with myself.

2.  It's okay to be lost.
     If you asked me what I am going to do with my Mathematics major right now, I would tell you I have no clue.  I would say something that probably pertains to business, but that would be a rough estimate.  Today, I'm okay with that.  A year ago, I would have freaked out.  Studying abroad has certainly showed me that everything isn't written in stone.  Sometimes there are bumps along the way to your final destination, sometimes you have no clue where you are, and sometimes being lost leads you to the best things.
     Being in London for five months was not on my original college plan.  I didn't even plan to study abroad at all!  I would consider this my "lost" part of life.  The months where I am just living instead of thinking.  Without it though, I wouldn't have seen the world, made awesome friends, got a new perspective of life, and made choices for myself.  The point I'm trying to make is that even though things might not be part of your plan, doesn't mean it's not part of the plan for your life.

3.  Rely on someone other than yourself.
     The first thought I had when I said goodbye to my family at the O'hare airport was that I was alone and independent.  As scary as it was, I had no other choice than to make decisions for myself and rely on myself.  As the days passed, I quickly realized that I wasn't just alone, I was lonely.  That feeling was haunting and kind of new for me.  Day by day I found myself relying on my parents a whole lot more, calling them every day, and relying on God.
     Truth is, I talked to my mom more when I was in another country than I did when I was at school.  I learned how to be independent, but also how to allow myself to rely on someone other than myself.  Relying on God also became a daily occurrence for me.  If I was having a bad day, I brought it to the one who was always there.  My problems simply vanished, I didn't have to worry anymore, and a giant weight was lifted from me.

4.  True friends are hard to come by.     
     To be honest, I wasn't really looking for a big group of friends in London.  I had every intention of meeting some people to travel with, hang out with, and let the friendships kind of fizzle out when I got back to the states.  What I didn't know was that I was going to meet some pretty awesome girls in my program and in my classes.  I am so happy that I had the opportunity to meet so many new friends and believe that they are lifelong friendships.
     Along with new friendships made, I learned who my true friends were back home.  This was probably the hardest lesson I learned.  People who I thought would always be there kind of vanished, some friends who I thought weren't very close to me really cared, and some of my best friends really proved themselves.  I know this is definitely a two way street, so I'm not quick to judge.  However, let me just say that relationships require effort.  On top of effort, a six hour time difference and being thousands of miles away did not help.  Let me just give a shout out to all of my friends who asked me how I was doing, skyped me, sent me mail, and who showed me what true friendship is.

5.  Pack light.    
     I am the best at overpacking.  If I was going to a desert, I would somehow convince myself to bring my Hunters just in case.  I'm ridiculous.  What's even more ridiculous is how much I brought with me to study abroad.  Two packed suitcases, one overweight suitcase (by twenty pounds), a full backpack, and a carry on is what I brought.  That was too much!  Just because everything fits, doesn't mean you should bring it.  I brought my whole closet, stuffed my clothes in space bags, and that was my first fault.  Everything might have fit, but it sure wasn't below the weight limit.  Trip by trip I learned to re-wear clothes, mix and match, and deal with it.

6.  Life isn't meant to be lived in one place. 
     Growing up my parents took me on big family vacations.  Whether it was a long road trip through the West or relaxing in Florida, I learned quickly that this world was big.  When I brought up the thought of studying abroad to my parents, they thought I was kidding.  Sure I love to travel, but living across the ocean was a lot different.  Nevertheless, I took a huge leap and found myself in London.  As I began to travel more, visit different countries solely on weekends, and devote my time to embracing change, I realized just how big this world is.
     Trip by trip, I saw a different group of people.  The British, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Scottish, Irish are all European, but they are all so different.  Seeing the different ways of living, eating different food, and hearing different languages revealed to me how much I don't know.  The more I traveled, the more I understood how little I know.  Studying abroad allowed me to live in different countries, see different things, and learn a whole lot about people and myself.  Living became an exciting adventure, a way of thinking, and an idea to strive towards.

7.  Where sneakers for your own good.
     My whole life I've had a phobia of fashion faux paus.  The "Your going to wear that skirt with those?" question always popped in my head when I wore sneakers with a skirt.  Maybe it's the way people wear sneakers in Europe or maybe it's just me who changed my mind, but I've come to love them.  I specifically started to love them when I could barely walk on my Spring break trip, and my new possession of New Balance shoes became my life saver.  Cobble stoned streets + Converse = 1 limping Janae.  The moral of the story:  wear the sneakers.  Embrace the comfortable padding, enjoy walking like a normal person, and work it.  That's all.

8.  Put down the phone.
     Wifi is great.  Cell phone service is great.  Communication is also pretty great.  However, experience is a little bit greater.  While in London, I bought a monthly cell phone plan.  The plan wasn't good, I got little to no service, and I often asked myself why I kept renewing the plan every month.  I probably spent more time complaining about the service than using it.  Being disconnected was kind of a gift though.  Instead of worrying about catching up on new IG posts, reading statuses that I could probably care less about, and worrying about how many likes I got on a photo, I was able to experience some incredible things.
     Our lives are surrounded by technology.  We tweet, update, post photos, and blog about our lives.  I think it's awesome how connected we can be without being near each other.  Along with that level of communication I feel like we forget to actually live in the moment.  Being disconnected from 24/7 service allowed me to experience what was going on around me and truly live.  So next time you are watching the fireworks, boating with your friends, or making s'mores by a campfire, put down your phone, enjoy the moment, and let someone else take a bad quality photo of your experience.

9.  Experience is worth more than a pair of new shoes.  
     I've been asked a lot of questions since I've been back, but the one that keeps coming up is what I bought in London and what I brought back.  Any of my friends will tell you that I love shopping.  Sales at J.Crew are my worst downfall, and I'm a sucker for Kate Spade.  London is known for amazing shopping, upcoming trends, and for being very expensive.  Instead of buying a lot of material items though, I opted for plane tickets.  Instead of unpacking a new wardrobe, I looked through my photos.  And instead of having a new top that will go out of style in a few years, I have memories that will last a lifetime.  I've learned to value life experiences over material items, and I've learned the importance of saying no to a new handbag and yes to a twenty pound flight.

10.  It's okay to be single, and it's okay to be selfish.   
     I used to hate telling people I was single.  I hated saying, "yep, still single" at every family event, I hated being told that the right person will come at the perfect time, and I hated lying through my teeth  when I told people that I was content with it.  Truth is, I'm a girl.  Of course I want a happily ever after, someone to tell me I'm beautiful, and hold my hand when I've had a rough day.  These past few months though have taught me something very important about being single.  I'm not going to get on that high horse of saying how magical and freeing it is to live your life and worry about yourself for a change, but it actually is pretty magical and freeing.
     I've come to realize that I'm only nineteen.  I have the rest of my life to find that special someone, and I've fallen in love with creating myself first.  Focusing on being myself, figuring out who I am, and figuring out who I want to be has been the most rewarding part about being alone in London.  For those of you who have already found your other half, I am so happy for you!  However, for myself, I've come to realize that I am content at this stage in my life single or not.