London. A city of diversity. An inspiration to people around the world. A hub for street markets, fashion bloggers, and eager young adults wanting to experience life. A place that not only fulfills dreams, but creates them. A city that challenges the way you view life and strengthens your values. London, most importantly, has become my home.
To be honest, I'm different. I feel like at this stage in anyone's life there are constant changes that make the mold for the rest of their lives. Fortunately, I'm happy with my choices. I remember telling my mom before I left that I knew I wouldn't be the same person coming back who left. That scared me. I knew that living by myself in a huge city that I had never visited would present itself with challenges, but I just needed to do it. Month by month, I've learned some things along the way. I've learned not to stop walking in the middle of the street because you saw something that you loved, and I've learned what it takes to be a friend when it's convenient and when it's not.
After a lot of thought, I have decided to share my top ten takeaways from studying abroad. Enjoy!
Top 10 Takeaways:
1. Be 100% yourself.
For quite some time I've felt the need to fit in. Whether it's being a part of the right crowd or dressing like all of my friends, I've felt the pressure to change myself. To be honest, I feel like I haven't been myself in quite some time. I changed my mind on what was important to me and even who I felt I needed to impress.
Being in London gave me a new outlook on my own life. After seeing diversity in the strongest form, I quickly realized how it was okay to be different. It was okay to have different views, dress differently, and speak differently. And suddenly, I felt like me. Owning who I was led me to make friends with people who were incredibly different than me. It led me to three of my very close friends (this is for you guys Kaitlyn, Leah, and Jodie) who not only challenged my values, but respected them. Studying abroad helped me "find myself" and ultimately helped me see that being me is the only way to be 100% happy with myself.
2. It's okay to be lost.
If you asked me what I am going to do with my Mathematics major right now, I would tell you I have no clue. I would say something that probably pertains to business, but that would be a rough estimate. Today, I'm okay with that. A year ago, I would have freaked out. Studying abroad has certainly showed me that everything isn't written in stone. Sometimes there are bumps along the way to your final destination, sometimes you have no clue where you are, and sometimes being lost leads you to the best things.
Being in London for five months was not on my original college plan. I didn't even plan to study abroad at all! I would consider this my "lost" part of life. The months where I am just living instead of thinking. Without it though, I wouldn't have seen the world, made awesome friends, got a new perspective of life, and made choices for myself. The point I'm trying to make is that even though things might not be part of your plan, doesn't mean it's not part of the plan for your life.
3. Rely on someone other than yourself.
The first thought I had when I said goodbye to my family at the O'hare airport was that I was alone and independent. As scary as it was, I had no other choice than to make decisions for myself and rely on myself. As the days passed, I quickly realized that I wasn't just alone, I was lonely. That feeling was haunting and kind of new for me. Day by day I found myself relying on my parents a whole lot more, calling them every day, and relying on God.
Truth is, I talked to my mom more when I was in another country than I did when I was at school. I learned how to be independent, but also how to allow myself to rely on someone other than myself. Relying on God also became a daily occurrence for me. If I was having a bad day, I brought it to the one who was always there. My problems simply vanished, I didn't have to worry anymore, and a giant weight was lifted from me.
4. True friends are hard to come by.
To be honest, I wasn't really looking for a big group of friends in London. I had every intention of meeting some people to travel with, hang out with, and let the friendships kind of fizzle out when I got back to the states. What I didn't know was that I was going to meet some pretty awesome girls in my program and in my classes. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to meet so many new friends and believe that they are lifelong friendships.
Along with new friendships made, I learned who my true friends were back home. This was probably the hardest lesson I learned. People who I thought would always be there kind of vanished, some friends who I thought weren't very close to me really cared, and some of my best friends really proved themselves. I know this is definitely a two way street, so I'm not quick to judge. However, let me just say that relationships require effort. On top of effort, a six hour time difference and being thousands of miles away did not help. Let me just give a shout out to all of my friends who asked me how I was doing, skyped me, sent me mail, and who showed me what true friendship is.
5. Pack light.
I am the best at overpacking. If I was going to a desert, I would somehow convince myself to bring my Hunters just in case. I'm ridiculous. What's even more ridiculous is how much I brought with me to study abroad. Two packed suitcases, one overweight suitcase (by twenty pounds), a full backpack, and a carry on is what I brought. That was too much! Just because everything fits, doesn't mean you should bring it. I brought my whole closet, stuffed my clothes in space bags, and that was my first fault. Everything might have fit, but it sure wasn't below the weight limit. Trip by trip I learned to re-wear clothes, mix and match, and deal with it.
6. Life isn't meant to be lived in one place.
Growing up my parents took me on big family vacations. Whether it was a long road trip through the West or relaxing in Florida, I learned quickly that this world was big. When I brought up the thought of studying abroad to my parents, they thought I was kidding. Sure I love to travel, but living across the ocean was a lot different. Nevertheless, I took a huge leap and found myself in London. As I began to travel more, visit different countries solely on weekends, and devote my time to embracing change, I realized just how big this world is.
Trip by trip, I saw a different group of people. The British, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Scottish, Irish are all European, but they are all so different. Seeing the different ways of living, eating different food, and hearing different languages revealed to me how much I don't know. The more I traveled, the more I understood how little I know. Studying abroad allowed me to live in different countries, see different things, and learn a whole lot about people and myself. Living became an exciting adventure, a way of thinking, and an idea to strive towards.
7. Where sneakers for your own good.
My whole life I've had a phobia of fashion faux paus. The "Your going to wear that skirt with those?" question always popped in my head when I wore sneakers with a skirt. Maybe it's the way people wear sneakers in Europe or maybe it's just me who changed my mind, but I've come to love them. I specifically started to love them when I could barely walk on my Spring break trip, and my new possession of New Balance shoes became my life saver. Cobble stoned streets + Converse = 1 limping Janae. The moral of the story: wear the sneakers. Embrace the comfortable padding, enjoy walking like a normal person, and work it. That's all.
8. Put down the phone.
Wifi is great. Cell phone service is great. Communication is also pretty great. However, experience is a little bit greater. While in London, I bought a monthly cell phone plan. The plan wasn't good, I got little to no service, and I often asked myself why I kept renewing the plan every month. I probably spent more time complaining about the service than using it. Being disconnected was kind of a gift though. Instead of worrying about catching up on new IG posts, reading statuses that I could probably care less about, and worrying about how many likes I got on a photo, I was able to experience some incredible things.
Our lives are surrounded by technology. We tweet, update, post photos, and blog about our lives. I think it's awesome how connected we can be without being near each other. Along with that level of communication I feel like we forget to actually live in the moment. Being disconnected from 24/7 service allowed me to experience what was going on around me and truly live. So next time you are watching the fireworks, boating with your friends, or making s'mores by a campfire, put down your phone, enjoy the moment, and let someone else take a bad quality photo of your experience.
9. Experience is worth more than a pair of new shoes.
I've been asked a lot of questions since I've been back, but the one that keeps coming up is what I bought in London and what I brought back. Any of my friends will tell you that I love shopping. Sales at J.Crew are my worst downfall, and I'm a sucker for Kate Spade. London is known for amazing shopping, upcoming trends, and for being very expensive. Instead of buying a lot of material items though, I opted for plane tickets. Instead of unpacking a new wardrobe, I looked through my photos. And instead of having a new top that will go out of style in a few years, I have memories that will last a lifetime. I've learned to value life experiences over material items, and I've learned the importance of saying no to a new handbag and yes to a twenty pound flight.
10. It's okay to be single, and it's okay to be selfish.
I used to hate telling people I was single. I hated saying, "yep, still single" at every family event, I hated being told that the right person will come at the perfect time, and I hated lying through my teeth when I told people that I was content with it. Truth is, I'm a girl. Of course I want a happily ever after, someone to tell me I'm beautiful, and hold my hand when I've had a rough day. These past few months though have taught me something very important about being single. I'm not going to get on that high horse of saying how magical and freeing it is to live your life and worry about yourself for a change, but it actually is pretty magical and freeing.
I've come to realize that I'm only nineteen. I have the rest of my life to find that special someone, and I've fallen in love with creating myself first. Focusing on being myself, figuring out who I am, and figuring out who I want to be has been the most rewarding part about being alone in London. For those of you who have already found your other half, I am so happy for you! However, for myself, I've come to realize that I am content at this stage in my life single or not.
